Couples in Collusion

When a couple enters therapy, both partners have either explicit or implicit understandings of what can―and, more importantly, cannot―be discussed in therapy. Even when empirically tested assessments are used to help pinpoint areas of concern and conflict, couples may choose to identify only those areas that are relatively safe and do not seriously threaten each partner’s sense of integrity and vulnerability. How is a therapist supposed to proceed when a couple comes in for a tune-up, not realizing that their entire transmission needs to be serviced? Therapists know that some relationships, like some transmissions, can continue to function on some level even without proper care―sometimes even for years―before the couple seeks therapy. If, when they come in, the therapist can help the couples to repair and regain their lost equilibrium, they’ll be more likely to seek help when the transmission next begins to slip.